How Do You Know When Your In Love?
Have you ever been in love? Even if not romantically I'm sure you have. The Lord designed us to find happiness, completion, and peace through the act of selfless love. We feel emptiness, selfishness, hate and pain when we aren't loved and don't love others. I have found in my experience that love has different levels, or depths.
I knew I was deeply in love with my sweetie when all things I loved the
most in life such as my family, Christmas, favorite foods, friends
& being back home all faded away into a blur and I no longer felt I
needed or even wanted them. Once I crossed that line and gave that
romantic part of my heart away....blur.....everything but him was a
blur. And how crystal clear he was! The
ONLY thing that could satisfy me and bring any type of life and feeling
back into my soul was him. Anything related to him. Whether that was
his picture, voice, text, or touch. Being with him was really the only
cure. He felt the same way about me. He felt that so deeply for me he
dropped everything in his life and moved across the United States to
marry me. We have never had much money and lived on as little as
possible. So I guess you could say we were living on love. Loving him
with all my power is what got us through all these years in the fabulous
and horrible times. It is what helped us become who we are today.
Love heals wounds, it lifts, and it inspires.
That's
when you know you are completely and hopelessly in romantic love. Being
in love you have a hard time admitting they have flaws. It's a form of
denial because you want everyone you know to love them as much as you
do. It's part of the magic of love, it's like you know they do have
flaws, but you don't even care because you just love them SOOO much!
It's like they become a part of you so intertwined you would literally
die without them in your life. You may not physically die right away it
starts with your soul moving into depression, past feeling. Many
people with severe heart break die of heart failure. That can be from
any of the top 3 categories. Love is powerful and the absence of it is
the greatest weapon.
How Deep is Your Love?
Think of something tangible, a food, an item, a hobby, an idea, or a passion you love. The depth is only capable of the first bottom level because it has no soul. It is shallow and empty. It can't love you back or last past this world. Now think of someone you love. This could be a pet or a person. Depending which relationship it is will depends on the level of love it is capable of giving and being given.
Overcoming Heart Break and Crushed Expectations
The
thing is the higher the level is it is accompanied by the greater the
pain when the love is not return or expectations of that person are not
met. In
those cases I have found there are only 2 options. It leaves an
emptiness in your heart that hurts and needs filled. It can only be
filled with 2 things. Darkness or light. Hate or Love. Most will
choose hate and to harden their hearts to go numb. It's the easiest
option takes the least amount of thought and will power. The numbness
stops the feeling of the emptiness and pain. But it leaves darkness and pain of different kind in the center of your soul, your heart. I have had heart break in all of these categories and I know those feelings. I
also know that it hurts me to hold grudges even more then person I am
hating. So I forgive. I give it to the Lord, and find a way to accept
and love them for who they are with their choices. But the trust is not freely given when you have been hurt. That takes time and the other person proving through their actions they have changed and won't hurt you again. I believe it is better to love and be hurt then to live a life without ever tasting of it's pure powerful magic.
Single and Full of Love
Some
make it through this life alone for many of their adult years, without
children when they want nothing more, or losing a parent, sibling, or
child at a young age. Some may never meet that soul mate and everything
doesn't fall right into place the way they hoped. The
Lord promises if we are true to Him and His commandments, all of these
things will be made right, whether here or in the next life. He has a
plan! Think about how many people there are in your circle in the
bottom categories. Now compare how many there are in the top two words.
As a women who married just after my 19th birthday, had 4 kids and
several miscarriages within 10 years, I have had so little time, energy
and ability to love outside of my husband and kids. I feel sad all my
other relationships suffered so much. But there was a plan and I knew
it all along. That was my calling. Now we are finished having babies
and our almost 2 year old is almost sleeping through the night. It
gives me time and energy to reach out of my little family and lift
others. For those who are single, I'm sure you have found, there are so
many people needing your love, life, and energy around. The point of
this life is if we truly learn to love and sacrifice. That can be done
in more ways then being married and having babies. Those things do
however hit you with love and sacrifice so hard you can't see strait.
So maybe that was part of the Lord's plan all along. :)
Why We Love
I
believe we fall in love so that we can learn what it feels like to
sacrifice everything for someone else. It makes us better people. It
brings hope and comfort in a dark, painful, lonely world. It teaches us
how to be like our Savior. It helps us come unto God.
Twilight Love
I hate being trendy and following the crowd. I like to stand out and think for myself. But then I usually cave when I see that the crowd is full of good people, it doesn't violate my morals, and makes them happy. I waited until the last day of my 30th birthday to open the Twilight gates and see what all the buzz was about. I figured it must be written well if it was that popular. After watching the 1st movie I was hooked and bought all the following books the next day. I
read them all in weeks....and loved them. It was amazing how many
different levels I connected with the characters. The only person in
our family who didn't have a characters name was Amara Evalyn. How
weird is that. I didn't even know the main character's name was Bella
when I named my daughter. What makes a good book to me is I can connect
with the characters and learn from them. My Eric is so much like Edward! Nothing like the Eric in the story. He
has the nerve to tell me when I'm wrong and make me laugh like Jacob.
But he mostly responds about how he understands I've been through a lot
and I'm the most beautiful thing he has ever laid eyes on, even at 3am. I
also loved how the author shares the love spell Bella and Edward are
under and how it means so much more to them to be together then
anything, and I mean ANYTHING in this world or beyond. Her problem is she left God out of her life. She was so in love with Edward that when he left her in the 2nd book she was suicidal. She died inside and stopped living and loving because she was so hurt. She was really selfish in her love, yet completely selfless to him. Humans
make mistakes but if we let God be our greatest love, even over our
romantic love, everything, and I mean everything works better in our
lives. He will never abandon us, he built us to be the person we are so
he understands all our emotions and decisions. He will help us avoid
these pits of despair, and help us keep that amazing deep love those two
had for each other.
I am not a fan of the movies and actor's as much as the characters in
the book. The book their love is so pure, in the movie is seems more
superficial, gory and pornographic. Especially the last movie when
everyone knows those two are not actually married or in love. Lets just
say not everything great should be made into a movie. I
love that at the end they have these flawless, strong bodies, no fat,
no sickness. They live in their custom amazing cottage, right by his
family. They have all the most meaningful relationships in there lives
close to them and they live happily ever after. I know we too have that ability, and we don't even have to thirst for blood as vampires to get it. 
Keeping Love Alive
We
have only spent a couple nights apart in the 11 years my husband and I
have been married. We spend every moment together possible in the mean
time. That is not the only way to keep love alive, but it worked for
us. Since I have started seeing more clearly over the past years I am
ok with us pursing our separate interests more. I have found I love him
more when I have my own needs met. So I can't always expect him to
meet all my needs. I have to have friends, and hobbies outside of him.
Eric and I are complete opposite personalities but yet we fit. We make
a great business team too. That is after we stop letting our opposite styles drive us nuts and use them to help
fill in each others gaps. It takes a lot of compromise and effort to
stay in love. You have to keep it alive. Not all love lasts and grows
as sometimes it is not meant to be and ends before marriage, while other
times after marriage one or both are just too selfish to keep a healthy
relationship as their priority. Sadly those loves will need to end if
the toxic person won't change, or the stubborn person won't give
whatever it is that is keeping them apart. They daily have their own
punishment of having to live with themselves and the choices they have
made.
The
Lord wants us to love each other as equally as possible. In the other
relationship categories also. The Lord doesn't want us to ever feel like
someone is controlling us or that we must live in fear of being
ourselves. Both sides of relationships need to be pulling the weight in
showing love and respect. You will have times back and forth lifting
and even carrying the other, that is guaranteed. Just keep going and with your romance, keep dating and flirting. Keep that love magical.
Christ's Example of Love
Saving
the best for last our Savior taught us the new and great commandments
of loving God with all our might, mind, and strength. (D&C 59:5) (Mark 12:30) Also to love our neighbor and ourselves. (Lev 19:18) God is love and Jesus and the Father are one in that power and light. They invite us to come partake. (Matt 6:33) I know there is nothing more I want then for me, my spouse, my kids, my loved ones, and all mankind to do so.
My Challenge to You
- Share more Love to humans!
- Disconnect from unhealthy relationships. Forgive them, you don't have to and probably shouldn't trust them. See the best in them and if and when the time is right let them in your life again. We all make mistakes and we all need love to help us grow.
- Forgive and love yourself.
- Deepen your love for those close to you that need and want you in their lives.
- Deepen your love for the Lord and trust He will lead you to those who you have the power to change.
- Keep your romantic love alive.
- Don't forget to have a lovely day. ♥️
With Love,
Heidi Evalyn Kowallis
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Dedicated to my Sweet Eric on our 11th Wedding Anniversary- I love you forever and ever Eric!!!
Check out my song I wrote for Eric about how he loves and blesses me. SOMETHING DIFFERENT
Check out my song I wrote for Eric about how he loves and blesses me. SOMETHING DIFFERENT
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